She fails to see her place,

She struggles without the beautiful sounds flowing

Throughout her aura.

Touch is her only sense of existence,

Something to truly remind her that she’s alive

In a world of darkness.

It’s dark deep inside the chambers of her mind,

Yet she cannot hear her own thoughts.

Her mind is as dark as the world she cannot see,

And as silent as the world she cannot hear.

He approaches her with a light touch of his hand

To let her know that she is not alone in the darkness.

He prays she could hear the words he has spoken.

He wants to say he loves her, yet she cannot

Hear or see his displayed affection.

Don’t turn away.

Her eyes remain open, yet they yield nothing.

He guides her into the welcoming safety of his arms

To bring her peace from the darkened abyss

That is her mind and her world.

The heat of feelings are exchanged between the two.

He looks into her ghostly eyes,

She doesn’t know what she’s looking at.

She can only feel the love that he has for her

And the love that she has for him.

Their love doesn’t need to be seen or heard

In the forms of physical affection or words,

It can’t be seen nor can it be heard.

Their love is an intense feeling residing deep within their beings,

Even when the lights are out.

There are no visible boundaries of this black room I exist in.

No light, no color, almost as if the world itself is blind.

How am I to restore light in such a dark place

That even I am unable to see through?

I cannot see, I can smell, taste, hear, and touch

The darkness circulating throughout the realm.

A light has made its presence known as a glow

Emits from the depths within my body.

This white shine only glows within my body

And still leaves the rest of the world saturated in black paint.

My heart and every other vital organ are exposed.

A myriad of colors are flowing through my veins.

These are the only colors left that exist.

The world needs to be painted again so

I’m going to bring it back to life.

With a razor, I cut through my skin and watched

The colors seep through my body into the darkness.

A pool of multicolored paint lays in front of me at my disposal.

With a paintbrush, I use the colors within my body

And give a hue to everything that was once alive.

I’m losing consciousness and I will soon be dead

But the world will never again dabble into darkness.

The grass is greener than it ever was, the sky is bluer

And everything that was once beautiful is lively again.

I’ve fallen into a slumber in which I’ll never awake,

But I’ll get to sleep in a pool of beautiful colors

I knew once existed.  To my death,

I’ve made the world a painting of my own

That came straight from the heart.

About a month ago I did a post that interviewed bloggers across WordPress and allowed anybody to participate.  You guys supplied some basic info in correspondence to the questions I was asking and I had a lot of fun doing it.  Now I want to know something a little more about you all.

In the comments section, I want you to confess something about yourself.

It can be anything and anybody can participate.  It doesn’t have to be crazy or something deeply personal unless you’re comfortable with sharing.  For example, I confess that I have strawberry blonde/brownish hair.  Every picture I’ve posted of me on my blog has been in black and white.  I know that sounds stupid and not exactly something worth confessing, i hope it gets the ball rolling because I want to hear some confessions!  Once again, it can be anything, something you’ve told other people or have never told anybody.

Have fun!

They will soon empty every last breath of love and hate.

Mere seconds tick away down to my final breath.

I stare into the sky that emits a blinding glow.

A halo descends from the white heavens.

It floats down beautifully on its rope.

I want to grab it but I just can’t.

My fingers sink through its ghostliness.

The angelic ring of light fits around my neck.

The angel tugs on the rope and tightens the noose.

My soon to be lifeless body is lifted from the surface

She pulls me up towards the aura of white skies.

Spectators watch as I ascend to the heavens on my holy noose.

I’ve gone as high as I can where the holy dead rest.

I will live amongst them until I’ve earned my Halo

So I can strangle another being and bring them to this paradise.

This is not the end of life.

This is a new beginning.

I take a thread and needle and prepare to pierce it through my love and I.  Our hearts are meant for each other, not the outside world.  I begin sewing through the edges of the gaping holes in our chests that left our hearts exposed.  As time progressed, stitch by stitch, our innards began to exchange heat to melt the ice covering our organs.  Our heartbeats were beginning to pulse more rapidly while blood erupted from the arteries.  I was careful to not puncture our hearts with the needle accidentally while sewing through the muscle and tissue forming the holes in our chests.  She was very trusting of my ability, knowing how cautious I am in order to preserve our love.  With skill and precision of an artist, I was constructing a true masterpiece.

As I came to the final stitch, I looked into her eyes and saw my reflection.   I see myself in her and she sees herself in me.  We were meant to be stitched at the heart.  The process is complete, each time my heart beats it lightly touches hers and vice versa.  Soon enough the stitches will disintegrate and we’ll be fused permanently.  Our hearts used to live in two separate chambers within ourselves.  Now our hearts coexist in one dark chamber where our love can thrive together.  This is the closest I can ever get to your heart.

Once again, I apologize for not posting for the past week.  I’ve been swamped in work, especially papers and exams.  Finally, all of that shit is over with so tomorrow I’ll be returning to my usual self and you’ll see some new, original content.  Once again, I’m sorry for not posting for a while, so I’m hoping that people haven’t lost interest in my blog nor have they decided to stop following me.  I can’t wait to start writing for you all again and to read all of your blogs!

A Living Oddity.   And yes, that is an extremely emo/poorly photo-shopped image of me.  Enjoy.

Anyways, it’s been two days since I posted something which is very much unlike me.  When I don’t have college and all of that going on I could probably post twice a day.  During school, however, I try to post at least once a day.  Unfortunately, I have three exams next Monday and I have a paper due, so I’ve been made a bitch and slaving away to their ridiculous demands.  I’m thinking of trying my hand at poetry for a post soon.  If you’ve ever written a poem, you’ll know that it’s quite a tedious task when you try to cram meaning and all of that stuff into a few lines as opposed to a normal post.  So I guess you have that to look forward to if you like reading my stuff.

Anyways, I said I was happy.  So here’s the Notorious B.I.G. and Miley Cyrus doing a happy duet.

I wanted to thank every single one of my followers and new readers for taking time out of your day to read my writing.  It actually gives me something to look forward to each day when I write a new post and have numerous people like/comment on a post.  In doing so, I’ve discovered a collection of blogs that I enjoy reading and I’ve also had the privilege of actually talking with some of you.  The blogging community is certainly rich with favorable personalities that I wish I could actually meet in real life.  Well, for now it looks like our only option is to communicate through our writing, which isn’t a bad thing at all.  A common theme I’ve found in many blogs that I’ve read is the importance of communication.  I can only stress how important communication is just like how my fellow bloggers have.  Some of us were born into a world where our voices are imprisoned within ourselves, so we’ve transferred all thoughts and feelings to an internet full of complete strangers.  I’ve learned from this blogging experience that when I go out into the world and say something, there’s always going to be somebody that will answer.  There is no better feeling than being heard.

I’ve only been blogging for about a month now and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon unless I completely run out material to cover, which really doesn’t seem possible to begin with.  I think I’ve covered love and self-identity a little too much so I’m looking to expand and write on several different topics.  As stated in my “About” page, I totally encourage my readers to give me topic suggestions.  Once again, communication is key to a successful blog, so please don’t be afraid to email me a topic suggestion that I can cover, or a question, or just anything really.  I enjoy engaging with my readers.  It would be unfair for somebody to comment on one of my posts without me responding back.  Your voice will be heard, I can guarantee that.

So once again, thank you all for your support.  Let’s continue to communicate our ideas and feelings with each other through our own written language.  Make sure you don’t let a voice go unheard.

Much love,

- Evan

He is the darkness living inside me, but he’s been dragged out into an unfamiliar environment.  He says he carries my secrets, my dark thoughts, fear, the anger and the pain within me, things that never get a chance to see the light of day.  The shadow told me that I’m too afraid to show the world who he really is, who I really am.  I told him that I wasn’t, but he rebutted my claims, saying that I’m deceiving the world.  The world is unaware of the darkness because I am only showing the light.  He begged me to let him out more because he’s been trapped for far too long within my inner chambers.  The claustrophobia settles deep into his mind as he struggles to break loose from the chains that restrain him.

The light flickered and retreated from my body to disappear into the bulb.  The room was saturated in darkness and my shadow dissipated into the nighttime.  I wasn’t done talking to him yet, but I guess I’ll have to wait until morning so I can give him the light of day and help him break free.

The world deserves to know who he really is.  I can’t keep him prisoner anymore.

Orange:  I colored in a shade of orange because you seemed so happy to be with me.  Your enthusiasm was truly adored and orange is a vibrant color.  It can’t be missed, orange has that appeal to really pull me in without missing you.  Something seems so right about you.  You have that potential to turn into a thing of beauty.

Yellow: I colored in the sun with an energetic yellow to shine right above you to compliment the true joy you bring into my life.  The warmness of the color shining onto you really enhances the beauty of your smile.

Green: I colored you in with a green to symbolize our growth together.  Green is soothing to the eyes, it doesn’t disturb.  You have awaken me from my slumber as I was once descending into true darkness.  I feel that you have magically healed me.

Blue: Blue was added to celebrate the trust we have achieved in each other.  I have scavenged beyond your physical beauty and have discovered a true depth in you I was afraid didn’t exist.  The others have been two-dimensional.  The shining of the sun has a produced a silhouette, ripping out any darkness that you had inside yourself.  There is no more darkness in you, only an ocean blue.

Red: Red was darkly colored into you as the crayon disintegrated into my hand rather fast to represent the love we share for each other.  Blood circulates through your system to truly you bring you alive.  I have seen a power in you, working with the shade of blue to pull me in.  The powers of love and trust have radiated into my body, establishing a connection between us that we can share for eternity.

Purple: A royal purple was was surely imminent.  I had no idea that we would fall in love like this.  This is my declaration to you that I will always worship you as a Goddess until our dying day.

Black: I have seen you for what you really are.  You are a cold monster whose heart only warrants a deep coloring of black until the crayon gets dull in my hand.  I was so drawn to your beauty but your black heart is a true depiction of who you really are.  How ignorant I was to interpret you as a beautiful masterpiece rich in color.

I’m struggling to erase you out of my existence, I can only smear the colors, but your heart is still black and it will never change.